Are the signs there? Are the little things that you once held to be important in your relationship missing? The warmth – the affection – the closeness. Do you question why you are still there?
Most couples in a relationship would be less than honest if they did not admit that from time to time they were concerned about the future of their relationship, even if only for a moment or two.
Relationships fail for lots of reasons but ending a relationship can be difficult – emotionally and financially.
Some people in longterm relationships debate and consider ending a relationship for years but keep putting it off. Some continue to stay in a relationship, albeit an unhappy one, because of a fear of the future, the safety of children or the financial uncertainty which might arise as to financial security.
Above all, if the relationship has ended, there is the feeling of failure and admitting failure can often be uppermost in our minds.
You might be actively considering the end of your relationship but then you have to ask yourself – ‘Is it worth one more try?’
There are trained counsellors and professionals who can help you and your partner to address the issues which are causing problems in your relationship. They can help you to prepare and implement strategies to re-kindle the flame that once existed in your relationship and assist you to deal with the possible source of the problems. Simply re-starting communications with your partner can often kick start things and get things back on track.
It’s time to take stock – sit down and work out what you want from the relationship, how much physical, emotional and financial stock you are prepared to put into the relationship.
If you can’t see a sensible and realistic long-term outcome from the relationship, then the reality is that your relationship is probably past the point of help from professionals or friends. Sad as it might be, it might just be time to stop the pain and anguish for both of you. You really need to work out where you really are and what you need to do; work out what you want out of life in general, what do you want for your children?
We all understand that people fall in love and that sometimes, just as easily, they can fall out of love. It’s been happening since time began.
If you decide that the long-term prospects for continuing your relationship are not good then – STOP!
Draw a deep breath, step back, be calm and think about the process – the things that you will need to do to end the relationship and importantly, the consequences of any action you might take from that point on.
There is information a plenty on the internet. Whatever you do, be informed of the process and what is involved.
We are not promoting the concept of anyone staying in a relationship which is not a happy, caring and loving one. We know that we all cope differently with pressure, grief and the range of emotions which accompany a partnership breakup. We all have different levels of tolerance so you must be guided by what you think is right, not only for yourself but for your children and perhaps surprisingly, your partner.
Issues of safety, care, nurturing and general love and affection and the need you have for these qualities will all need to be taken into account when you make your decision.
A pen and paper might assist – make a list, weigh up which of your requirements or needs is not negotiable and perhaps those which might be. Balance things out and then you will be in the best position you can be to decide what the future holds for you.