Co-Parenting Without Conflict
During your divorce there should be one single most important consideration in your decisions – your children.
Depending on their ages, you are going to have to make a variety of decisions on their behalf. They are the ultimate victims of any disharmony that exists between you and your partner, it is important that you keep their needs in mind when making your decisions.
To reduce stress and anxiety on your children, keep your disagreements private. It is important for their health, as well as yours, that you do not fight and argue in front of them. Your issues are not going to be resolved with your children’s input – in fact involving them can lead to complications in the future. Children need to see that you can be adult about disagreements and can talk through issues to come to a resolution. In this way you are creating a safe and positive space for your children.
When making decisions regarding your co-parenting it is important to remember that younger children, especially, require a routine to follow so they feel safe and secure. As much as possible, you need to agree with your partner on an amicable and co-operative solution to a co-parenting plan. This will provide the stability and routine that children need during this turbulent time.
Remember, children are not little adults. While the older children should have more say in how much time they spend with each parent, they still need to be guided by your best judgment in their well-being. You and your ex-partner need to make important decisions, now and in the future, regarding their extra-curricular activities, where the child spends different holidays and important events, and how their schooling will be affected.
A cool head and a desire to ensure your children are treated with respect during your separation will serve you and your partner well during this difficult and tumultuous time.
